Flight Lieutenant Goes AWOL

by Shaky Parkinson

Staff at RAF Valley woke up to the realisation that one of their pilots; one William Arthur Phillip Louis Windsor has gone AWOL.  Flight Lieutenant Windsor, who is part of the Search and Rescue Team, was discovered to have disappeared early this week without so much as a goodbye and a wave.

"This is a massive disappointment," sighed Commanding Officer Bruce Hedley, "He is always disappearing for days and weeks at a time without explanation, and it is causing far too many problems."

"Not two months ago we saw him on television gate crashing an event at Westminster Abbey.  This was followed by a two-week absence and when he returned he looked a little worn out.  Hardly the kind of condition he was needed in for active duty."

There was much criticism bounding around Search and Rescue HQ and one pilot called the debunk, "A bloody disgrace.  Last time I went AWOL I was reprimanded, fined, hung, drawn and quartered.  But William gets off scot-free.  Who does he think he is?"

A search was set in motion and it was quickly discovered that the pilot was flaunting himself around Canada with some, "Skinny bird."  Military Police were quickly sent to recapture the absconder but were forced back by crowds of screaming tourists.  "There was nothing we could do," cried Paul Chiggles, "There was just too many of them."

"We have no choice but to implement all of our legal force to expel him from the army," screamed Hedley, "I will not have my base given such a bad reputation.  This time he is out and I don't care who his Nan is."

A Spokesman for Mr. Windsor said, "Although it is regrettable that my client is unable to rescue people off the Anglesey coast, he is taking part in some much needed moral boosting in the colonies.  So deal with it," he concluded matters with a stern look and the words, "You do know who his Nan is don't you?"