Give Me A Grave Please Bob

by Shaky Parkinson

Veteran broadcaster Bob Holness has died at age 83.  Holness' career spanned six decades but he will be most remembered as the host of television word extravaganza Blockbusters and the radio voice of not so secret agent James Bond.

'The man was truly awesome," claimed Bob Holness founder of The Church Of Bob Holness, "I remember the day when my change of name came back from Deed Poll and I just exploded.  It was the best day of my life but today I cracked open the Blockbusters board game and wept."

It was indeed the show Blockbusters that occupied Holness' time from 1983 to 1993 when the show finally ran out of words.  "I remember the last series," claimed Holness in a 1995 radio interview, "I came onto the set and the hexagons were all filled with Z's.  I turn to our producer and he slams down a copy of the Oxford dictionary and says, 'Bob, we're out of words and I don't think hyphenating is going to fly, looks like we're sunk.  I didn't half chuckle."

Holness in 1867 being awesome!

Holness will be cremated with his favourite dictionary and Martini shaker next Wednesday and a special remembrance plaque has been ordered to fill up a space in the garden of television centre.  The plaque is to read, "In loving memory of Bob Holness, Gentleman, Legend, Gentleman Legend.  And no, I wasn't the guy from Batman."

Despite such a wonderful career the broadcasting chap was unable to call one bluff and will forever live on with an ever-growing status when people discover that his middle name was Wentworth.  "He was a loving and genuine person," claimed Everyone.

It has been said by relatives that Holness' last words were, "I never understood why they called it Blockbusters.  There's nothing square about a hexagon."