Obama Returning iPad To Reduce Deficit

by Shaky Parkinson

Recent reports show that Apple Inc are now the only people with any money anywhere and their current operating budget dwarfs even that of the US Government by billions of dollars.  In a desperate bid to even out the problem and raise some cash, American President Barrack Obama has agreed to put down his beloved iPad, Stevie.

"I had to no choice but to return him.  Steve Jobs is pretty well off and I'm thinking that with a refund we can help lower the deficit," stated Obama, "Stevie isn't a standard model either, he has all the sexy extras and I'm told he cost a bomb and the troops are really running low on them."

This comes in a week when America is to pass a bill giving itself the power to extend its own overdraft above its $14.3 Trillion Dollar limit.  "If the iPad scheme doesn't work then we have no choice but to push through the bill.  It will totally ruin our AAA Credit Rating but we are currently loosing $200 billion a month so choices have to be made," sobbed the President as he entered the Washington Apple Store.

Problems arose when Obama was later seen at his favourite cafe with Stevie laughing his butt off to the latest episode of 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians'.  When cornered he was quick to defend himself with a quick demonstration, "Look what it does!"  The resulting promotion created an even bigger financial gap between the two giants and the proposed Bill will be looked at this afternoon.