"I'm out for me," humbled Marbles, "I love myself, I love my jokes and I love my shocking comb over. If this stint doesn't get me a reality show then the system will have failed me."
District Judge Daphne Wickham said, "This is a very naughty thing to do and he could go to jail from this act. I urge all television broadcasters and pub basements to be wary of employing this complete and utter fucktard."
Rupert Murdoch, who was saved by the heroic actions of his wife Wendi, was forced to finish his interrogation in nothing but his shirt and tie. "It was embarrassing," he sobbed, "You don't know what it is like facing a panel of MP's without a jacket. I can still hear the mumblings. They said it was fine under the circumstances but I still feel dirty. It was just jealousy, Marbles couldn't even wear shirtsleeves to his hearing and is just taking it out on the rest of us. That pie took away my dignity and made me feel as cheap as a contestant on Family Fortunes."
Marbles who had the cheek to ask for a postponement on grounds of a 'pre-booked family holiday' is, "Really making a mockery of the justice system," claimed one Juror, "Amongst other things his reiteration of the sarcastic and insincere comment laid down by Murdoch last week just goes to show you that this man is an absolute cock!"
Marbles, who claimed his 'day' in court to have, "Been the most humble day of my life," apparently showed no signs of remorse and is being hailed by some critics as, "The greatest comedy genius of his minute," and others as, "About as humorous as a post curry shit."
Either way with Stand-up Comedians rapidly becoming the most revered and important people in the universe one thing is clear, Jonnie Marbles may be a colossal cunt but he's in the right line of work for it prove beneficial.
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