At 7pm sharp the entire range of fireworks costing £6,000 were simultaneously set off at once and have since gone down in history as being the most amazing and disappointing feeling a person can experience at the same time.
"It went up like a house on fire that's been filled with gas canisters and glitter," spoke spectator Terrence Cumsack, "Fuck me it was incredible. It was pretty far out but I'm glad I got to see it. Although it could have lasted longer."
"It was like daytime," claimed local stylist Jane Frizzy, "My hair was standing on end. It was something to behold. Shame it was so short."
"I found the display to be rather disappointing," bitched one Snob whose continued ego driven rant we refused to take down.
It appears the company behind the display, Pyro 1, was under the impression that the general public of Oban wanted an adventurous night out and had brought in their specialist pyrotechnician, Arthur Sparks to try something radical. The ninety-eight-year-old has been responsible for such delights as the Oldham City Blaze and the Buckingham Palace Dazzle and felt it was time to lend his talents to this year's local event.
"I thought I'd get back to basics," coughed Arthur through his cigar smoke, "I thought we'd put on a lovely pretty display and make it a fun night, but as I was staring at the trigger switch I thought fuck it and set the lot off at once. I know I blew a lot of money for such a short spectacle but these things happen. I think everyone secretly wants to see this happen but now they have seen the results I'm sure their curiosity has peaked."
Indeed the crowd was deeply upset about spending their 50p to get into the ground and so a free show has been organised for later in the month. "I think we gave them their money's worth," claimed Councillor Roddy McCuish, "But they didn't appreciate that little nugget of recession humour, they've been brilliant, everyone was happy to return in three week's time for a second display free of charge and I can't say fairer than that."
"It wasn't too much fun having to tell them that Sparks had gotten a bit trigger happy so we covered things up with an electrical malfunction excuse but they could see through it. They couldn't believe it was over but who cares, I know you don't you lousy writer, wake up and stop trying to make this piece interesting with a bit of fourth wall humour. Shame on you."
Watching at home on the local Oban Channel 6, Mrs. Sally Hump said, "I thought it was pretty radical and it left a strange feeling inside me. I'm upset I didn't come."
Mrs. Fred Jenkins who was on security at the show was pleased with the night, "They were in and out in under five minutes, couldn't have gone smoother. No messin', no skateboards and no fun. I've never seen an operation move with such pace and skill."
The free fireworks display will occur on November the 27th at the same location. Unfortunately Arthur Sparks will be unavailable to manage the show as he is using the day to die of lung cancer and old age.
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