Free Ads (VAT Included)

- Good times. See Deborah, corner of Park Road, by the shops, Dullwich.
- Sick of cults? Join our family and find a real path to inner enlightenment. Raymond 'Jesus' Patterson. Priddle. Tel: 394.26845168
- Henry Hoover for sale. No smile, sucks well.  £50 o.n.o.  Arthur, Swidditch. Tel. 214234214552.
- Please touch me. David, Hoxton. Tel: 012524234352.
- Well established film and music retailer, free to good home. Call Deloite 0200990300800
- Horses needed, will pay through the nose. Joe Bloggs, Wintem, Kent. 013402030203.
- Lounge set up for grabs, needs drying, Sally, Brent-under-Thames. Phones out, look for the chimney.
- Used musket free to good dunce, thoroughly dusted, no new cartridges.  Arthur.  Malbridge.  029839730972
- Just wanted to be a part of something.  Darren.  Norwich.
- Dance Instructor wanted for home tuition.  Must be supple, naive and have vast knowledge of World Cinema.  Wellington.  Battersea. tel: 0204-35648745
- Beard trimmings.  Thick lusty main for sale, razor blades aren't cheap, can't keep in sink forever. Patty, Maidenhead.  tel: 078495214521
- Just want money. Follow smell.  Piccadilly Circus.
- Sick of cold calling ruining sex night, get your own back by calling 08458-111-3300.  Calls cost £1 per minute.
- Bike for sale, not stolen. £30 o.n.o. See Gaz at the King's Arm Lewisham.
- House for sale, woman's clothing and baby paraphernalia included.  It's been a bad month.  Sergio. tel: 7826545
- Missing Cat, answers to Little Shit, daughter won't stop crying, help a guy out.  Strathclyde.  tel: 4341343.
- Flat Wanted, car is beginning to smell.  Derrick, M40 Welcome Break.  Payphone: 01891234657
- Complete Stargate DVD magazine collection free to a good home.  They got me good.  Phil.  tel: 08445-696-96969

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