Americans Forced to Acknowledge Rest of the World

by Jack 'The Mac' Mack

The American media was turned upside down today when rumours surfaced about news coverage of an event that wasn't about America, Iraq, Afghanistan or any communist countries. A worried CNN correspondent reported: "I thought it was something really important like a poodle show in Philadelphia. However there were all these people in a room talking about phones and bullying this old man. We ran the story because news is news but we weren't really sure what was happening."

Viewers at home were furious. A Mr. Verne Large of Texas said. "I rang my news centre to complain. Jay Leno was making jokes about the UK. I thought he meant USA at first but then there was a different second letter and a third missing so I was really confused. I can't have been the only one calling in as I was on hold for over an hour. What the hell is going on?"

Top news representatives were quick to reassure the public that the news was USA-centric. "We'd like everyone to know the person at the center of this is Rupert Murdoch who lives in America and gives us quality broadcasting. Yes, he's from Australia but he lives here. The guy makes The Simpsons for god's sake. You can't get more American than that."

Rupert Murdoch was unavailable for comment but his wife clawed our correspondent's eyes out.