And hit they were with UBS shares dropping 8% overnight. It appears the actions of this as yet unnamed trader, we'll call him Mr. Wonderful, have resulted in a serious loss of faith for the company that had to be bailed out by the Swiss government back in 2008.
"It's about bloody time," said War Veteran Charlie Slug, "Those damn Nazi cowards could do with a kick up the arse. It's all Hadron Collider this and C.E.R.N. that, well fuck 'em. Maybe if they spent a bit more time telling jokes instead of struggling against futility to out wit God, they might not be seen as such pompous knobs."
Tensions were running high with an immediate investigation set in motion to locate Mr. Wonderful's lair. "We believe his hiding to be located on or around the 39th floor of our main building. Then again it could just be a very knowledgeable cleaner out for revenge after that impromptu custard pie fight we had on Friday. To be honest we don't know, but it is shocking nonetheless."
It is still unclear how Mr. Wonderful was able to migrate the ever increasing limitations being placed on bankers worldwide but it seems, "A bit of skilled fudging was sufficient to bypass our most secure stock movement programs or whatever it is we use to move stocks about," continued Grubel, "If we don't find him soon his mission to destroy our financial credibility will be ruined. We haven't suffered an image breach since our founding in 1854. That is why we have called in Supervillian, Mr. Boring to ferret out the culprit and his creative banking manoeuvres that have left us in a quandary."
It is uncertain how the story will proceed, but what is certain is that wherever there is a dull money hungry country whose chief exports are boredom and scientists Mr. Wonderful will be there to kick them where it hurts.
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