Today's current whinging is the result of a study commissioned at Oxford University by the People's Trust for Endangered Species that found the Red Squirrel to be almost extinct within the British Isles. "It is so cute," blurted out one Whitecoat, "I don't care how much faster or quicker those bloody grey American Squirrels are, we don't want any foreigners coming over here and cluttering up our forests."
The study also found that the hedgehog population had dropped from over 30million in the 1950's to around 1.5million. We spoke to Farmer Giles about the recent dip, "Serves them right. If a hedgehog can't stop itself getting eaten with all those damn spikes on its back then it deserves to go. That's just the way it is. I thought that was what those tossers have been winging about for years. Survival of the fittest and all that."
The shocking thing about the report is that it claims the number of otters, polecats and water voles are substantially on the increase thus justifying the idea of a progressive world. "No, no, no! It doesn't work like that!" spouted the Whitecoat, "We want everything to stay the same unless it suits us. I don't care if the loss of the Red Squirrel results in life elsewhere, that isn't right or how it supposed to go. We are supposed to do what we like and make sure the species we think are cutest get the highest preference. Give me that bat."
It seems the paper has sparked off much controversy throughout the scientific community with a campaign to save the Red Squirrel currently in full swing.
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