"It was great," chimed Mr. and Mrs. Pollyoddlywaddly, "There was one hemophiliac dressed up as a blood clot bless him. He was doing really well until he caught his neck on his clothing tag. The ambulance was quick to show up so the effort hadn't been in vain. Where would they be without our support?"
"Bollocks," claimed Mr. Twatt, " I've never seen such a lack luster race in all my life. Half of the lazy fucks had given up before they'd hit the starting line and they didn't even stand a chance after they let the wheelchairs off first. I'd hardly call that fair. There weren't even any good crashes. Bollocks."
"What," said this Other Chap, "I don't know anything about any fucking race, go talk to that weirdo in the dragon costume."
"Wicked," said the Weirdo in the Dragon Costume, "It was a record year for heat exhaustion. I got close but that can of Vimto I had at lunch lost it for me. They were dropping like flies and it hurt not being able to keep up but there is always next year."
"This is the second run I've ever witnessed," claimed pro-athlete Jimmy Knickers, "It was interesting but overall I felt the performance tedious, slow and lacking in a climactic ending, once they'd crossed the white line there was just varying degrees of enthusiastic clapping. I was not impressed. One star."
"I'll be honest with you, any run that doesn't involve Paula Radcliffe getting her cooch out and spraying the pavement is a good one," blurted one Angry Pedestrian as he left a Psychiatrist's office.
"I started my diet yesterday and I thought I'd better get a bit of jogging done," claimed Joshua Tubbins, "Let's just say I'm over the hump and I have definitely broken myself into the routine. Its just a shame I am suffering from extreme exhaustion and probably won't be able to walk again for six weeks."
There was also a report of elderly woman, Molly Coddling getting caught up in the charge. A search party has been organised and volunteers are hopeful that she will be found dead or alive by next Wednesday. "I saw her wave good morning then she was gone," claimed front lawn gossip, Dawn, "I do hope she's okay. She's only just gotten over the London Marathon."
"I'm raising dosh for the sports wing of the National Blind League of Veteran's Association," cited Jeremy Twinkle, "Those boys have done a good job and after their eighty years service they deserve a few new squash rackets."
The Great North Run is set to occur again next year in 2012 with even more outlandish costumes and niche charities to take part.
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