Nun Bride Defeats Army

by Shaky Parkinson

This Saturday, Delta Force Paintball in Milton Keynes, saw the heroic scene of one Nun's triumph at the hands of twenty opponents.  A pregnant Nun and bride to be, was seen to be out kicking ass amid the cries and yells of a heated Saturday's battling.

The Nun's left and right tactics proved hugely successful and her command of her limited forces has already caused a stir within modern strategist circles.  With ideas such as throwing grenades at those too young too wield them and a full out confident approach to attack, the Nun made a unique impression upon the battlefield.  With cries of, "Get the guy in the tutu, he's pretty good," abounding the field the action was certainly in full swing.

The day came to fruition with a strategic attack upon a bunker containing a seventy strong force.  The surprise attack was proving successful up until the moment Gary ran away.  It was then left to the Nun to take down the three thousand inhabitants of the building with nothing more than ten balls to her name.

The events of the next few minutes are hazy but from information gathered it appears the Nun, in full battle fury, proceeded to wreak havoc on the amassed forces of the opposing army.  It is thought that the loss of her baby earlier on in the foray contributed to her blood lust.

Unfortunately it was this loss and the feeling of abandonment that forced the Nun to excessive drink.  After lovingly harassing a hen night and the staff of Pizza Express Oxford, the Nun was seen practicing her tray spinning skills while rocking the night away.  Luckily one Dr. Tit was on hand to offer up medical advice throughout the night and help the Nun arrive safely home at her convent.

When asked for a quote about her courageous act of defeating a 25,000 strong army the Nun had this to say, "Whoooooooooooooooooooo!"


Love you Dude!