"Has Anyone Told Them They've Lost?" asks Interim Authority Forces

by Shaky Parkinson

After a fresh bombardment has been launched on the Gaddafi stronghold of Sirte, Rebels are asking themselves some serious questions.  The biggest one being if anyone bothered telling the pro-Gaddafi forces that they have lost.

"I'm pretty sure someone mentioned something," claimed Transitional Government Force Commander, Nasser Abu Zian, "I remember we got together and wrote them a note or something.  It must have been pretty good because we sent out for pizzas and beer halfway through writing it."

It is thought that intense fighting in the city has caused the post to be a bit delayed.  "It's possible that the mail man was amongst the thousands of civilians who fled the city to safety the other day," continued Zian, "But it's just as likely he is dead.  We already have 12 bodies in the room out back and if that was the case we're boned.  All the maps have been blown up and he was the only one who knew the street names.  Then again I'm looking at my book of six 1st Class and there isn't any missing.  It's a mystery, you know the post."

Just to be on the safe side Zian has implemented a blanket advertising campaign of the entire area with special attention being paid to the enemies compound.  He talked us through the plan, "We've brought in some awesome megaphones and banners to be put up around the major roundabouts, not too mention a crack team of flyer distributors who'll be monitoring the streets 24/7.  It was a logical step, what with airtime hitting an all time low price and the cost of constant shelling proving a burden on the food budget.  I'm using the savings to buy myself a hat."

We spoke to Mark Arse of LAME, London Advertising Media Execution, who has been commissioned to produce the campaign.  "We wanted to keep it simple, loud, but simple and also very loud," proclaimed Arse, "Our initial idea of getting the entire NTC to sing a cover of Katy Perry's Lost was met with much criticism so we've gone for the minimalist approach, nothing fancy, a simple 'you've lost' banner knocked out on the photocopier.  We think it's a win."

It is hoped that the advertising campaign will bring about an end to the bloodshed and lead to a peaceful transition into a new democratic Libya.