by Shaky Parkinson
Once again controversy and hearsay have arisen to question the events that shook the world when terrorists flew two big planes into New York's Twin Towers 134 months ago. Conspiracy theorists have put finger to keyboard as a fresh batch of evidence has been released that they say will finally prove that 9/11 did actually happen.
Blogging sites have seen increased traffic as groups of pro 9/11 conspiracy theorists (but not in that way) claim that newly released eye witness reports and satellite imaging clearly show that the US Government wasn't stupid enough to destroy one if its crowning feats of engineering for the sake of a sense of fear they could've got by dressing up some cost effective extras in black suits and ear pieces and let them parade around your local neighbourhood.
"Cover up to hide."
"It's like we've been saying all along," stuttered Max Clink author of conspiracy blog Far Out, "There was definitely some kind of cover up to hide the truth that 9/11 actually occurred. We've been campaigning for years and it finally looks like people are starting to notice."
"What we're dealing with here is a massive event that cannot be properly understood," he continued, "The attack on the Twin Towers breaches a mental barrier of security that has until now retained a stern sense of stability. It's going to take a decade of materialistic living to counteract these images. We are only just coming to grips with what is happening and the initial reports aren't good."
"I remember where I was the day the towers fell," stated Old Man Drudge, "It was a Sunday or some such day and I had just gotten the mower out of the car hold when I saw a gaggle of geese flying by overhead. Now I thought to myself that you don't see too many a gaggle anymore, seems to me like the geese are becoming a more hermitised bird. It must've been '86 since I saw a pair of them together, maybe even '85 and being one of my favourite winged animals it struck me as a sad affair that only zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ."
Reports such as these are said to have caused the initial disbelief that lead to a vague sense of happening rather than clear evidence for a genuine terrorist attack. Yet special analysts, forgers and experts have trawled through the masses of photographs, videos, interviews, videos and rubble to finally achieve what they are calling conclusive evidence.
"As far as I can make out this did happen," claimed one such expert Philip Patz, "There's doubt, like there is with everything, but I'd say this is an open and shut book and I'd go on record as saying that you'd be a fool to say 9/11 didn't happen and an even bigger one to joke about it."
"Life is horrific."
Messages of acceptance, condolences and nonsense have been widespread with Katie Hulch of Kentucky having this to say, "The loss of life, it's horrific. I didn't think it was even possible. If it wasn't for these eye witness accounts and footage I may have gone another decade without believing 9/11 ever happened."
"It's a disgrace," claimed Sally Field (Yes that Sally Field), "Someone had to say to it."
"Our hearts go out to the people effected by this attack, even the Jews," claimed anti-Semitic preacher Caleb Funk.
One uncovered eye witness report from Manhattan resident Peter Gunk read, "I was there, I saw them towers fall and no matter how stoned I was that shit was real, you wanna know how? 'Cos I was inside them when it happened."
"People claim that."
Evidence was as far reaching as China, Madagascar and Ireland where Mrs. O'Toole of Cork proclaimed, "It's a dirty fecking business. It wasn't until we saw it on the news that we realised it had actually happened. These people claim that their Government were to blame and although they may be blameless and to blame it's clear that 9/11 did happen unlike the Holocaust which is clearly just a flight of fancy."
"We never claimed that 9/11 didn't happen," furthered Clink, "But we may have said some things that were untrue, hearsay or otherwise bollocks. What we can all agree on is that this terrible event did take place and that from the start we knew this and can only hope to move on with our lives now that the tragedy can be labelled as nostalgic and pray that a commemorative lunch box is in the pipeline."
Blogging sites have seen increased traffic as groups of pro 9/11 conspiracy theorists (but not in that way) claim that newly released eye witness reports and satellite imaging clearly show that the US Government wasn't stupid enough to destroy one if its crowning feats of engineering for the sake of a sense of fear they could've got by dressing up some cost effective extras in black suits and ear pieces and let them parade around your local neighbourhood.
"Cover up to hide."
"It's like we've been saying all along," stuttered Max Clink author of conspiracy blog Far Out, "There was definitely some kind of cover up to hide the truth that 9/11 actually occurred. We've been campaigning for years and it finally looks like people are starting to notice."
 |
| Faked photos show a giant arrow to have caused the attack. |
"I remember where I was the day the towers fell," stated Old Man Drudge, "It was a Sunday or some such day and I had just gotten the mower out of the car hold when I saw a gaggle of geese flying by overhead. Now I thought to myself that you don't see too many a gaggle anymore, seems to me like the geese are becoming a more hermitised bird. It must've been '86 since I saw a pair of them together, maybe even '85 and being one of my favourite winged animals it struck me as a sad affair that only zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ."
(Eye witness report taken 12th September 2001)
Reports such as these are said to have caused the initial disbelief that lead to a vague sense of happening rather than clear evidence for a genuine terrorist attack. Yet special analysts, forgers and experts have trawled through the masses of photographs, videos, interviews, videos and rubble to finally achieve what they are calling conclusive evidence.
"As far as I can make out this did happen," claimed one such expert Philip Patz, "There's doubt, like there is with everything, but I'd say this is an open and shut book and I'd go on record as saying that you'd be a fool to say 9/11 didn't happen and an even bigger one to joke about it."
 |
| Popular villain Smoke Face was seen amongst the fires leading many to believe a Hollywood film was in production. |
Messages of acceptance, condolences and nonsense have been widespread with Katie Hulch of Kentucky having this to say, "The loss of life, it's horrific. I didn't think it was even possible. If it wasn't for these eye witness accounts and footage I may have gone another decade without believing 9/11 ever happened."
"It's a disgrace," claimed Sally Field (Yes that Sally Field), "Someone had to say to it."
"Our hearts go out to the people effected by this attack, even the Jews," claimed anti-Semitic preacher Caleb Funk.
One uncovered eye witness report from Manhattan resident Peter Gunk read, "I was there, I saw them towers fall and no matter how stoned I was that shit was real, you wanna know how? 'Cos I was inside them when it happened."
"People claim that."
Evidence was as far reaching as China, Madagascar and Ireland where Mrs. O'Toole of Cork proclaimed, "It's a dirty fecking business. It wasn't until we saw it on the news that we realised it had actually happened. These people claim that their Government were to blame and although they may be blameless and to blame it's clear that 9/11 did happen unlike the Holocaust which is clearly just a flight of fancy."
 |
| FAKE!!! Experts debunk widely famous photo of a ciricle plan of death. |
No comments:
Post a Comment