Whitney Houston's Death Boycotted By Thousands Of Stockroom Workers

by Shaky Parkinson

The announcement of Whitney Houston's death has caused a mass strike by stockroom staff and sales assistants throughout the country's music shops and record distributors.  The initial reasoning for the walkout is being blamed on the general public's inability to decide upon their preferences and tastes while simultaneously being stupid.

"If you liked Whitney Houston why didn't you support her music while she was living?" fumed John Box, a stockroom controller at Sony Music Distribution, "This happens every fucking time.  It's like these walking shit machines need their two minute dose of empathy to make them justify their selfish existence's and we're the ones that have to deal with it.  But not anymore."

The mass walkout is said to continue up until Whitney's burial sometime next month.  The effects of which mean that no one will be able to spend their money on any Whitney Houston CD's and further the profit machine people are so keen to abuse and ridicule whenever possible.

The results of a mini riot in
HMV Stockport.

"This has nothing to do with us," continued Box, "For once we are going to celebrate an artists death in an alternative manner and that is with silence.  We've just gotten over Etta James and now this shit.  We're done.  How would you like it if I sent three thousand copies of 'The Bodyguard' soundtrack to your door followed by several hundred morons who couldn't name you the title track?  You'd be pissed wouldn't you?  Fucker's I bet their already working on a movie biopic."

The Whitney drought has caused available CD stock to hit all time highs with copies of 'My Love Is Your Love' being sold on ebay for as much as £2million while the dormant reprints that are due to be scaled out on mass have been placed under armed guard after a three man raid in a Warwick TNT storage facility left seven dead.