by Shaky Parkinson
Despite week wide coverage of the royal birth the Royal Families medical problems seem far from over as belated reports are surfacing that last Prince Andrew has spent the last week in intensive care after stubbing his toe.
The incident took place last Sunday while Prince Andrew was visiting his Mother for a friendly game of cribbage to see in the end of the Duchess of Cambridge's pregnancy. It is believed that Prince Andrew rose to fix them both a ginger shandy when his foot came into swift contact with the Edwardian drinks cabinet causing massive damage to his right foot.
"Hordes of fanatics."
Matters darkened when Prince Andrew was unable to secure any medical attention due to the imminent arrival of the heir apparent and was forced to drive himself to St. Mary's Hospital where upon arriving he had to battle his way through the hordes of fanatics who had encamped themselves on the doorsteps to witness the first glimpses of the as yet unborn child.
"They were everywhere," commented Prince Andrew during his recovery interview this morning, "A rabble of freaks and nutballs, Christ knows what it'll be like at the christening. Normally I would have kept my distance and let time work its magic but due to the weather I was only wearing a pair of suede loafers and the damage to my toe was considerable."
"From there on in it only got worse. It took me hours to steal away a nurse through all the commotion and was only treated to an examination when the chief of surgery slipped on the blood spewing from my toe. It didn't help any that the nurse had me installed in the suite next door to Kate and frankly the noise was unbearable, you'd have thought she was giving birth to a Chelsea supporter with tourette's."
He continued, "It's not like I wanted to make a fuss and overshadow the 'occasion' but this was a serious wound, there was blood everywhere and I could see bone. I've never experienced pain like this but luckily they aren't going to amputate so we dodged a bullet there, although not a table, am I right?"
"Every stubbing is different."
"We've kept the Prince heavily medicated due to his injuries," claimed the on duty Nurse, "I've been treating patients for years and I've never seen a stubbed toe this horrific. Every stubbing is different but this is about as bad as it could possibly be. We wish him a speedy recovery and hope he'll be right as rain for the little one's Christening, it's going to be heavenly."
Prince Andrew is said to be doing well and will be kept in hospital for observation over the next fortnight in the company of his sister Princess Anne and brother Prince Edward after they were both admitted with dicky tummies late on Tuesday night.
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| St. Mary's Hospital |
The incident took place last Sunday while Prince Andrew was visiting his Mother for a friendly game of cribbage to see in the end of the Duchess of Cambridge's pregnancy. It is believed that Prince Andrew rose to fix them both a ginger shandy when his foot came into swift contact with the Edwardian drinks cabinet causing massive damage to his right foot.
"Hordes of fanatics."
Matters darkened when Prince Andrew was unable to secure any medical attention due to the imminent arrival of the heir apparent and was forced to drive himself to St. Mary's Hospital where upon arriving he had to battle his way through the hordes of fanatics who had encamped themselves on the doorsteps to witness the first glimpses of the as yet unborn child.
"They were everywhere," commented Prince Andrew during his recovery interview this morning, "A rabble of freaks and nutballs, Christ knows what it'll be like at the christening. Normally I would have kept my distance and let time work its magic but due to the weather I was only wearing a pair of suede loafers and the damage to my toe was considerable."
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| Prince Andrew driving himself to hospital. |
"From there on in it only got worse. It took me hours to steal away a nurse through all the commotion and was only treated to an examination when the chief of surgery slipped on the blood spewing from my toe. It didn't help any that the nurse had me installed in the suite next door to Kate and frankly the noise was unbearable, you'd have thought she was giving birth to a Chelsea supporter with tourette's."
He continued, "It's not like I wanted to make a fuss and overshadow the 'occasion' but this was a serious wound, there was blood everywhere and I could see bone. I've never experienced pain like this but luckily they aren't going to amputate so we dodged a bullet there, although not a table, am I right?"
"Every stubbing is different."
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| The almost unshowable stubbed toe. |
Prince Andrew is said to be doing well and will be kept in hospital for observation over the next fortnight in the company of his sister Princess Anne and brother Prince Edward after they were both admitted with dicky tummies late on Tuesday night.
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