Once confusion had made way for grief many spectators suddenly realised they had seen Andy Murray sneak onto the pitch dressed as a tennis shoe towards the end of the second set. "He was up to no good," wheezed one member of the general pubic.
Police were slowly called in but were unable to question the British Number, as he was required on centre court to dazzle the amassed idiots. They were able to get a brief mumble from the miserable ballsack but it was so dull Officer's were unable to retain the words long enough to write them down.
They resulted to observing his mannerisms during his performance to see if anything was amiss. Behaviour expert, Dennis Dennis found Murray's smug arrogance somewhat suspicious until a nosey Fan explained, "Oh, he always looks like that. It's why he is so awesome."
It is believed that Murray was acting in cahoots with his power hungry mother, Judy, as one of his puppet strings was found under Roger's chair by a team of forensic specialist people men.
Unfortunately there was not enough evidence to make the charges stick and an organised crowd whinge forced the fuzz to make a quick sanity saving retreat.
It is now feared that the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club are under the threat from a severe raping by the star and a full-time Police presence has been issued to protect the association, (except for bank holidays, weekends and lunchtime).
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