Last Friday, Egg Whisker and Saucepan Designer Anthony Royal Thompson was caught queue jumping by security staff at the Henley-on-Thames branch of Tesco. It seems he had entered the store in a flustered state in pursuit of some 'Low Value' cheese and wine but upon reaching the tailback at the express checkouts Thompson took matters into his own hands and left the building.
Despite being unable to leave with his goods Thomspon broke free of the Staff and ran off into the car park screaming with delight. His actions sparked numerous uprisings throughout the middle classes and it is thought that the thousands of pounds Tesco pocketed on staff cut backs were wiped out by the sudden disappearance of six million cubic tonnes of Red Leicester.
"He's a Saint," whispered nearby shoppers, "He's broken the mould and done what we all wish we could do if we had a well established television career behind us."
"I'm just a man," claimed Thompson on Monday's edition of The One Show, "We were having a few friends over and so I had to make a dash for a few vitals. If the supermarket hadn't pushed me to breaking point with their lengthy queues I wouldn't be here today."
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| Thompson leading the fight for rights. |
Thompson escaped prosecution on grounds that, "Tesco had already gotten their publicity's worth out of the event and simply wanted to return the cheese to its housing before it went moldy and had to be written off.
Yet Thompson's acts have called for a probe into the supermarket's 'We'll open a till if there's a line' policy. "There was one work experience girl to service fifty of us and that wasn't good enough," sounded Thompson, "If no one stands up to these tossers where will we be?"
Off the back of his unexpected success Thompson has outlined a program of protest to defeat the unnecessary removal of goods from supermarkets in a quick manner that leaves people free from stress and anger. His 'Five Minutes Or Free' campaign is set to launch on Sunday to moderate reception.
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