"It's a big step forward," says research director Dr. Foster, "We're basically fucking around with things to make the most perfect baby we can, just like in that film Gattaca and that guy went into space. Theoretically there shouldn't be any problems but they said plastic surgery is fine too and look how that's been abused. In my opinion this is all top notch stuff."
From our brief research News Guff can report that the words mitochondria and battery have been used but in what context no one can understand. It seems initial research is proving far less sexy than originally promised and this has angered a large number of sexually repressed groups.
"We wanted something juicy to protest against," claims Evangelical Minister A. Twat, "But as far as we can make out this three way nonsense is all very clinical and disgusting. There are no whips, whipping or whipped cream and frankly very minimal male involvement. This isn't really worth the time."
"What we're doing is radical," continues Foster, "We're fusing two eggs together sprinkling on a splash of cum and then all the good things will create a baby that doesn't have the bad bits. Three-parent IVF treatment is nothing to worry about. Despite the name there will be no sex and probably no six limbed children."
"I dunno about this," claimed activist Mr. N. Parker, "It'll put a lot of health professionals out of work and it does go against the whole notion of creation. On the plus side there will be less wheel chairs about. Tough choice."
Such risky sexual activity has been widely encouraged throughout history but it is thought this might be one step too far. "Call me old fashioned but I'm not having a threesome in a laboratory," cited one enthusiast, "Where's the magic?"
"I understand people have their concerns," furthered Foster, "At first I couldn't understand the process. I thought a threesome was for fun but now I see it can save the world too. We should all be having them. I get asked many questions and I'm here to dispel the myths. Like the fact that by using two eggs we do run the risk of creating more women, but on the plus side that should mean there will be more sexy ones to look at. That's fact, not speculation."
Conspiracy theorist Jed Barnes author of radical news-sheet 'IT'S NOT FUCKING SWAMP GAS!!!' has spoken out about the proposed tests. "It's a scam," he commented during a secret phone interview, "Think about it, more women, more shopping, more needless clothes, something isn't right. We're fucked man, fucked."
The preliminary tests at Newcastle University have already seen numerous picketing and it is hoped the situation will escalate when news of the sexy tests become known to the public. There have already been fifty thousands applicants applying for the project one of which is Ed Cummings, "If I'm accepted this will change my life, having a threesome to save the world. I'll be like Superman or Christian Bale."
"It's been an easy sell," concluded Foster, "People can't wait for the results. I can't move for the grants being sent my way. It's touching to know people are so enthusiastic about three-ways."
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