Eurozone Head Out West

by Jack 'The Mac' Mack

 

Eurozone crisis talks were interrupted this week for what was described as a "make or break" trip to Las Vegas. 

 

News Guff caught up with Greece President Dr. Karolos Papoulias in Caesar's Palace, "Basically we had no choice," said the visibly perspiring premier, "Germany isn't keen to help, China offers support but no cash so we decided to give it a last shot. I've cashed in what little money the country has left, let the chips fall where they may. Literally, in this case. I'm not worried, as worrying would imply I can lose. Blackjack has been my game for years, I'm wearing my lucky pants, I've said a prayer and I haven't walked under a ladder. I even found a penny this morning, the winning streak has got to continue." 

 

Dismissed as a desperate gamble by some the move was praised by the US Treasurery. A Spokesman said; "Its putting money back into the US economy and although it may seem reckless we have been assured the Europeans are not relying on luck alone. They are all big sports fans and will play the odds like pros. I've been told the Deputy President is on roulette and the Foreign Minister is playing poker. Who says a crisis can't be fun?"

Italian Prime Minister Mario Monti was unavailable for comment as he was yelling; "Run you stupid nag!" at a TV. Spirits were raised when he punched the minister without portfolio, claiming his bad luck was catching and went on to win $1,000.