"I'm bewildered," claimed coach driver Reg, "I just don't know what happened, maybe it always takes this long. Frankly I blame the traffic and possibly that cunt who was smoking in the toilet."
Passenger Shaky Parkinson had this too say, "No comment, I don't want to be pegged as a whiny prick but frankly I could've thought myself there quicker."
Other passengers were less than quiet, "I've just lost an extra hour of my life and for what? As far as I can make out nothing," screamed Emily Wood of Botley, "It's all this congestion stuff, it took us thirty-five minutes to get from Notting Hill Gate to Victoria. That's not progress its bollocks."
"I think we can safely explain the phenomenon away with simple applied theory," cited one pent up Oxford Lecturer, "You see if we factor in to account the number of passengers insisting on using the smaller stops only reserved for the people that couldn't be bothered to walk to the bus station and the fact that it took over thirty minutes to hit Thornhill Park and Ride it is plainly evident where those lost minutes went. It was either that or aliens. It's anyone's guess but either way it's balls."
Upon arriving at Victoria station a small procession was held and driver Reg Reginald was awarded with a medal for his strength in the face of congestion and for helping the passengers to their destination safely.
"His chorus of 'The Wheels On The Bus' was a serious moral booster," claimed Emily, "That and the way he dealt with the wanker who was smoking in the toilet kept us all going.
The unexplained phenomenon is set to put an investigation into the works but initial findings are proving difficult, as Transport for London and Oxfordshire Council are unsure where to lay the blame for such a painstakingly slow journey.
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