"It was bound to happen at some point," sighed Group Captain Simon Blake, the Commandant of the RAF Central Flying School, "We are just too damn good, something like this was bound to kick us up the arse. You can't play the odds for 32 years and escape incident free. We thought about taking a five year hiatus to even out the odds but the punters were to enthralled by all our wavy jet streams to let us go and I can't blame them, they do look sweet. Still, today's incident should level things out for the next decade. All in all, it was a huge success. It was risky but things worked out for the best."
Nicholas Gore, a bypasser who was out strolling, saw the Hawk T1 fly into an adjacent field and land belly up in a river. "I heard this loud crack, not an explosion, just a crack. But that could have been my Kellog's variety mix."
Another bystander, who wished to remain anonymous, we'll call him Dicky Penis said, "The plane skidded for a few hundred metres before it landed in the river," after which he ran off into the undergrowth.
By all accounts it seems Lt. Egging's final piece of skill lay in his ability to crash land a high powered jet plane with the upmost care for the surrounding wildlife. "He loved a good steak," claimed his rightly distraught wife, Dr. Emma Egging, "It's just so sad to see him gone, but it's good to know he was caring until the end."
The doctor and jet pilot couple have been begrudgingly mourned by the local populace with a book of condolence that has proved a popular attraction for the locals, with anyone who attended the display getting a 50% discount as reimbursement for a spoilt weekend.
"This is the worst thing to happen to this country in months," said one Local, who when pushed also said, "What riots?"
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