Signal Dies On Television Remote Control Inventor

by Shaky Parkinson

The man himself.

The inventor of the first television remote control is claimed to have passed away on Sunday, say his former employers Zenith Electronics.  "We think he's dead, it came as a bit of a shock to hear it but we can safely say that he is gone.  We think." claimed Zenith CEO Michael Ahn, "This man was a true pioneer of the American way of life and without him we'd not be doing so financially well.  If anyone has any thoughts, condolences or indeed any light hearted puns be sure to send them to our admin team and we'll get on circulating them ASAP.  It's the least we can do."

Eugene Polly began work as an engineer way back in the War times but didn't cause much fuss until his 1955 invention the 'Flashmatic' used light and imagination to shot a wireless signal across the room to alter the state of the users television from on to off.

The awesome Zenith
Flashmatic. 

"Sweet gun."

Despite the invention being temperamental and prone to failure its sweet gun like design proved popular with the American mass market and Polly was always keen to receive his admiration whenever possible.

We spoke to Polly's former colleague and developer of the 1956 'Zenith Space Commander 600', Robert Adler.  "Polly was a joke, that bloody 'Flashmatic' was a piece of pants and he knew it.  The damn thing didn't work.  It only took a bit of sunlight on the receiver and the television would switch off or even on.  I was developing the 'Space Commander' way back when the 'Lazy Bones' was being conceived.  This title he's been given is far from accurate.  The 'Lazy Bones' was the original remote, it just wasn't wireless and got sidelined after the unsightly cable caused a few clumsy deaths.  Then again that's the consumer for you, memory like a sieve and an imagination like a photocopier.  I was the true inventor of the wireless television remote control!"

The equally sexy Zenith
Space Commander 600.

Regardless of past paragraphs Eugene Polly spent his 96 years on earth changing everyone's life and without his efforts people would still be getting up to change the channel to this day.  What a chap.