"Dangerous and insufferable."
Superintendent Paul Fullwood of Cambridgeshire Police said, "This behaviour is clearly dangerous and insufferable. Not only does it take a moron to realise that Childline would not have the same operating number as the entire countries emergency services but who dials a wrong number twice? It seems the breakdown in her family life has left this girl without the ability to feel embarrassment or guilt and so we think the best place for her is prison."
Moate was brought before Huntingdon Magistrates' Court yesterday, charged with being thick and wasting everyone's time after police traced her telephone and placed her under arrest. "I don't know why I did it," sighed Moate, "It's like I couldn't stop myself. I don't know."
"Dickhead."
The silent calls were placed on Christmas Day and on Boxing Day and were said to have caused massive disruptions to the under staffed Christmas Temps. "Didn't this little girl get any presents or a even a lump of coal?" claimed one unenthusiastic individual, "Even a lump of coal would have burnt for a few hours and kept her mind focused. I know the Christmas scheduling was duller than a flattened pot of squash but that's no excuse for being a dickhead."
After admitting to the crimes Moate was relased on bail and will be sentenced in February. "It was an easy decision," claimed Foreman George Foreman, "She was ugly so we wrapped things up by lunch and had plenty of time for some lean mean fat reducing grilling on my wonderful new lean mean fat reducing grilling machine."
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