Extra! Extra! Old News Clichés Make Distracting Comeback

by Shaky Parkinson

SHOCK! TERROR!  As the streets of Manhattan reek with the villainous stench of wayward news conventions the Media has resorted to retro trends in a snappy bid to save face and restore the faith of the common reader.  With doom looming for such negative entities as excessive advertising, biased subject matter and the far too regular quirky pleading of its broadcaster, in steps nostalgia to once again make its mark on the local rag.

Down at City Hall the Major is seen mulling over musings with his advisors while wondering if his next leap will be the leap home, "We've fallen on hard times see.  We need to buck trend and follow fashion to get things rolling.  The news is getting out of hand, we want the facts without the guff (No indictment of this sterling publisher).  No two-bit rogue reporting is getting past me and the great people of this city.  Anymore."

"Words hit deep."

The Major's words hit deep with riots sparking up in newsrooms across the globe.  James Murdoch came out in favour of not, "Getting in trouble," while cutie Kate Silverton claimed that the profession is, "Not to blame," only the facts.

The letter of the law ran deep in a sea of criticism with Government's and Money Maker's defending themselves alike, "We follow the coin see, it's about the wealth, we can't have another crash on our hands and if the chicken is out of the pie it'll be chaos I tells you, chaos."

Picture.

With impending doom riding high in the polls a contemporary 1920's stereotype has been ushered in to still the fears of the questioning masses.  "We're unhappy and if we need to ruckus we will," they bellowed, "It's not right see, this goes all the way to the top.  We want the truth not the lies, it's all coming along and with this we hope to change it all.  Change the people, change the places and change the change to see justice done."

"We can't fly."

The anger being mailed across town got tense and in a bid to save face the Media went underground but the regime couldn't race the bad intentions floating down Main Street and the ensuing riots ended in chaos see.  "It's about the fact," they continued, "We don't want to see some Chinky's post disaster dying breath, it's a sickness that we can't fly and something needs to be done about it chump."

"That Silverton maybe a dish but it's the doll's we're worried about.  They're everywhere, it isn't straight see.  The fact of the truth of the matter is that the fact isn't up and out, it's down and low and that don't sit well with us or the unions, am I right boys?"

"Yeah!"

With chaos turning to gibberish the pressure is mounting for media gimmicks to become widespread in the hope it will alleviate the reader's stress to bring about a clean sense of wholesome acceptance for the wrong rights.  "It's a ditch attempt effort but as the seventh hits out it's a fine sexy play that won't disappoint," says the Governor, but who'll come out on top when the ball picks up the train and hits Broadway?